Lost
by meggh11
Summary: What if it was all a dream?
1. Chapter 1

"You know, I can't dance."

"That's okay. I'll pretend I can't."

"We're in the middle of your living room."

"Who cares? We're dancing."

"I might be bad."

"I might love it."

Kate pushed her hand against the back of his shoulder and focused, hard, on the steps below – trying to not step on his foot.

"Relax," he said, as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear just in time to see her eyes meet his, "just sway, like in middle school."

Kate smiled, breathed in and did as she he said.

"You know, I haven't told you much lately, but I'm having a really great time – us, you."

Castle smiled. He was too, but she knew that, he told her all the time.

The stress left her days ago. The last ounce of a sting traveled out of her with one of his hugs that let her morph into his body.

"Kate, I know."

* * *

Kate startled awake. Frantically looking around her room, machines next to her. Pale blue walls, a blanket was over her. She was in a room, a hospital?

_Why was she in a hospital…?_

She fell asleep on Castle's couch last night. So did he. She shouldn't be in the hospital.

She felt where the – _was it an IV – _was sticking out of her arm. She put a hand to her face and felt the bandage around her forehead. The dried _something _on her head was sticking to her hair and making a single strand pull underneath it. She tried to get up but felt a huge need to sit back down on the bed. Her body felt week, tired. She looked at her other arm where a bruise covered most of it. Her legs felt the same way. She removed the blanket to find similar bruises.

_She had a hospital gown on and her body was bruised. _

_Castle. _

He had to be here somewhere. They were just dancing, having fun. He had to be somewhere if she was in the hospital. He wouldn't just leave her. She felt along the cord to her left and found the button that paged a nurse. She looked down at her feet that were sticking out of the bed. Kate could have sworn her toes were painted pink…

A nurse walked in a few seconds later carrying a clipboard.

"Good morning Ms. Beckett."

The nurse walked around to the side of her bed and checked her monitor.

"Looks like you're doing fine. Had a scary fall there."

_Fall…_

"Um – fa – what exactly do you mean. I fell?"

"You don't remember?"

Kate thought. She tried to remember, but falling – the last fall happened _months _ago. And it was major. She fell off the side of a building. But Ryan had pulled her up.

_Right?_

"Let me go get your doctor."

Kate felt confused. Her world was not the same. She needed someone. She needed Castle.

"Nurse?" Kate said, trying to get her attention before she left.

"Yes."

"Is there someone here with me?"

"Your friend left a few hours ago. He said he was coming back later."

_Castle was here._

* * *

Kate's doctor walked in a few hours later, after Kate had eaten lunch and been able to get herself to the bathroom in her room.

"Sorry about the wait. A car accident has us running around, busy up here."

Kate smiled, waved off the doctor's frenzied walk around the room. He pulled up a chair and brought it next to her bed.

"Okay, let's see what we have here – Ah, Katherine Beckett. You had quite a fall – "

"So I've heard."

"Okay, so it looks like you have a concussion, can't read, drive, the usual. You don't have anything broken, surprisingly. You landed on a passing garbage truck. You fell, but garbage stopped you. It's quite the miracle."

"I don't remember any of this."

"It's the concussion. The scrape on your head – the garbage wasn't the ideal thing to land on – but it beats the ground."

Kate was wrapping her mind around everything. She couldn't figure out why she was just learning about this. What happened to Castle. What happened to that strange but amazing, arousing night. She came to him, dripping from the rain, begging for forgiveness, begging for him. They had two wonderful months together. Spending all of their free time together – which they had a lot of. They were a couple. He made her feel safe.

"Doctor, I feel – I can't figure it out. I could have sworn that someone grabbed me, pulled me up."

"N – no, you fell. No one grabbed you. No one was on the top of the building. You fell and bystanders called the police. You've been asleep for almost two days, under constant supervision."

_This didn't make any sense. _

"We're going to keep you here for a little while, but you're out of the worst part of the woods, so you can sleep. You can't do anything too stimulating, not for a couple of days. Sorry, but you can color?"

"Color – "

"It's something we have the patients with concussions do. Trust me, in a few hours without reading or television you will be coloring. I'll leave it over here. Get some rest."

The doctor left the coloring book, at its crayons, on the empty table to her left.

"Um, I didn't catch your name?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Dr. Harris. I'll be with you throughout your stay. You should be out of intensive care pretty soon. Oh, and your friend – I didn't catch his name – he should be by later to deal with your sudden popularity."

"Um – excuse me?"  
"It's not everyday a writer's muse falls and is miraculously saved – by a garbage truck – but saved nonetheless."

"Okay, when did he say he was coming by?" she asked, confused, but understanding.

"He had to run back to work, but he should be by later tonight. He had his partner with him."

_Work. Partner . . . _

"Was this man Caucasian…"

"No, but I think his partner is."

_Damn. _

"Okay, thank you."

When the doctor left, Kate sat up in her bed and folded her legs. It stung, hurt from the scrapes and bruises. She reached over to her right and grabbed the phone that was still hooked to a cord. She knew the number by heart, watched as her fingers pressed the familiar buttons.

But it rang. Rang again.

Kate played with the cord that was long enough to let her walk around the room – if she could comfortably walk.

The call was directed to voicemail. And this wasn't something she could leave in a message.

_How could he not be here?_

She dialed the house number, but had the same experience. The call was interrupted by Alexis' childish voice telling her to leave her name and that they would get back to her.

Kate put the phone back where it belonged and rubbed her head. It hurt, but the confusion was masking it. Had she just been dreaming? Was this entire relationship, the good, the bad – was it all in her head?

If it was, the last thing she said to Castle was their fight. She watched him walk out of her apartment angrily. He said he was done.

But she needed him. She needed that hug he gives her, that calm feeling that washes over her body. She needed him to fall asleep beside her.

* * *

_This was meant to be a one shot, but let me know if I should continue it. _


	2. Chapter 2

_You convinced me. This is no longer a one shot. Thanks to all that have read!_

* * *

Kate started awake once more, pulled away from her perfect life. She was just about to kiss him. Her hand was grazing his temple, her other on his back. The warmth beneath her fingers, calming and familiar. Pulled back into this confusing room where she was nobody's girlfriend. Nobody needed her as badly as she needed someone. Her "friend," who she gathered to be Esposito, did not come back yesterday. The nurses came in to check her, make sure everything was still the same. But that was it. She couldn't move, couldn't get up to walk around. It hurt too much; in more ways than one. Kate desperately wanted to fall asleep and surrender to the world that she had created in her head, but was facing that it didn't exist.

_Maybe call one more time…_

She had already called three times, but had the same outcome. Answering machines. She didn't have his mother's number, or Alexis', but she also didn't want to bother them. It wasn't their burden to handle. She didn't know how much Castle had told them, it was Alexis' graduation. And Castle left. He said he was done.

Just as she was about to fall back asleep, and excited to do so, Esposito knocked at the door.

"Hey, how you feelin' Detective."

"Been better."

"Yeah, I can see."

They exchanged smiles, a quiet glance. She rewound her mind. Erased all the conversations they had, the apologies that they had discussed.

"I need to ask you some questions."

"Shoot."

"What happened to me?"

"What happened? Um, Beckett, you were thrown off the side of a building. Ryan tried to grab your hand, but he slipped. You were to heavy to pull up. You fell, but a truck pulled by just soon and you hit that instead. Honestly, it's the closest we all have been to witnessing a miracle."

Kate brushed her hair behind her ear, trying to understand.

"Wh – why was. Um, so - uh."

"Take a minute. Let me go through this real quick," he said, holding a folder.

"What is that?"

"Straight from Gates. She needs to protect the case. It's what you can and can't say to reporters."

"I don't want to talk to any of them."

"Well they want to talk to you, and it doesn't look like their leaving, so we need to take care of this."

Esposito opened the folder to a paper with a signature line at the bottom. He began to describe what Kate couldn't do in front of the camera. What she couldn't say. She'd sign this paper, she didn't care. She couldn't understand why this was all happening. It felt so real. Being pulled up, thinking about her life over and over. Making the one decision to go to his apartment -

" – if you want to schedule an interview – " Esposito continued.

Kate was barely listening. She didn't care enough to pay attention. She tried to sit up more than she was, but her body gave way.

" . . .and you're not listening to me."

"What? Yes I am. I am. Okay, I promise. Start again."

"Just sign the paper."

Kate did as she was told, they both knew she didn't want to be here.

"When do you think I'm getting out? They won't tell me anything."

"Couple days."

They began their goodbyes. He made sure she was okay. Asked if she needed anything. But before he could leave, Kate needed to know about Castle. She loved the man, she came to over the past two fake months. But she didn't want to seem crazy, or set of alarms, so she needed to be subtle.

"Espo, did you hear anything from Castle?"

"No, we tried calling him. We thought he'd want to know about you, but he didn't answer. Ryan tried his house. He was about to call Martha, but I stopped him. Why, do you want me to –"

"No, don't worry about it. Let him – I don't know. Let him go."

"Okay, detective. My cell is on. Let me know if you need anything."

* * *

Castle felt his phone ring for the eighth time that morning. The precinct had been calling him. Kate had been calling him.

_Maybe he should answer it?_

No, he couldn't. He needed to stick by his word. He meant it when he said he was done. But he didn't at the same time. He loved her. Nothing changed that. He checked his phone again. One more missed call from the precinct. He was beginning to get worried. They never called this much. And when things went wrong he was usually with them. He put his phone away, he needed to. There was no way he could have the self control to stay away if he answered. He left his study to get something to eat. To block out the rest of his life. Kate made her choice and so did he. He walked into the kitchen, a sinking feeling in his chest.

_Something was wrong._

Nothing was wrong. He grabbed last night's leftovers from the fridge and began to prepare them. Alexis was gone, his mother as well. His house phone rang again. It said the usual number on the phone.

_Maybe something is wrong. _

No, he was overthinking it. Nothing was wrong. But the uneasy feeling that was hovering over him was beginning to make a larger appearance.

When he finished eating he went back to his study. He needed to work on his novel, get something accomplished while he had this quiet moment. Half an hour passed without him realizing. Temporary depression was setting in. He missed how things were. Solving cases day to day. Cracking jokes with the boys. Driving Beckett crazy.

His phone rang again, but he left it in the drawer beside him. Debated on silencing it altogether because vibration was not helping his distraction method. However, when his house phone rang, and the caller i.d. called from the speaker in the base saying it was his mother, he made an acception.

"Mother, to what do I owe the pleasure, I thought you were – "

"Richard, where is your cell phone?"

_Something was wrong._

"With me, but it's silenced. Why? What happened?"

Guilt sank in as his mother went over the past 24 hours that he neglected to recognize. His need to see his partner grew stronger. Anger turned to concern. Turned to love.

"Detective Esposito called me asking where you were. He said that he needed to talk to you, and that's when I got it out of him. Dear, I knew something was wrong."

"Where is she?"

"Richard, honey, you said you were done."

"Dammit mother . . . where is she."

Castle hung up the phone once he got the address of the hospital he already knew, took down the room number Espositio had willingly given his mother. His gut was right. He would kill himself more than he was now for not listening to it. He didn't know much, but he knew that Kate was in the hospital. Kate was in the hospital by herself. He felt like he betrayed the responsibility he gave himself. He grabbed his wallet, his keys, and left.

* * *

Kate called once more. No answer. It was time to give up. He was truly moving on and she needed to do the same. They had broken up without even dating. She felt lost. Empty. She fixed the blanket on top of her, pushed the coloring page back onto the table, and moved it to the side. She wanted to sleep. Delve into the world where she was comfortable in. The world where she was somebody's girlfriend, Castle's girlfriend. Kate reached for the remote next to her that turned off the lights over her bed. Once they were off, she rolled onto her side, put her hand underneath her pillow, and tried to fall asleep. She was succumbing to her dreams, felt his presence once more. She needed to see him. She almost smelled his cologne. The deep smell that she fell asleep to so many nights.

_No, that was his cologne. _

"Kate?"


	3. Chapter 3

"_Ca_ – Castle"

Kate shot up, pushed the sheets off her stomach; fought the pain that was keeping her to the bed. She willed her sore feet to the ground as she untangled herself from the cords. Her eyes never leaving his face, she was drawn to him by some need that was familiar in her world. In her real existence where she wasn't set back. She wasn't stuck. She reached a hand up to his face, one to his chest. She needed to feel his lips, his face. But she stopped. Pulled her hand back to her other arm, wrapped her fingers around her elbow to hide the emotion. It wasn't her Castle. This Castle that was angry at her; cared for her, but needed to pull himself out of her life. Her bare feet stepped over the cords, brought her back to her bed. Castle walked closer, seeing that she was struggling to bring the machines that were connected to her. Kate pushed herself back to the bed, back into the world he knew.

"I should have answered – I should have. What happened?"

"Cast – I –" Kate breathed in, she didn't know. She knew as much as him.

Kate brought a hand to her forehead, rubbed the bandage around it. Pushed a stray hair back behind her ear.

"I fell."

He moved closer, but kept enough space. Their argument was fresh, wounds were still open. He needed to hold her, to help her. But, her face – her bruises.

"You, you fell? Like tripped _fell?"_

"No – apparently I fell from a building."

"What do you mean you – "

"I don't know. I don't – I can't remember."

"What building. Did someone – Kate how did you fall off a building!"

Castle pushed his recognizable anger beside him. He wanted to be angry with her for not listening to him. He wanted to be angry with the person who did this to her. At himself for not answering his damn phone. His hands fell at the foot of her bed, brushed her knee that was bent next it. Adrenaline rushed down her leg and into her spine. She missed his touch. She missed him. Kate pushed her tears back. She needed to run to him. Feel his arms around her shoulders and bury her head into his neck. Fell his hands on her. Disappear from this world and into the awkward, loveable relationship they had – _have._ She wanted him to crawl up next to her and help her fall asleep. But she also wanted to be with him. See him again.

"What did the doctors say?"

"I've got a concussion. I have to stay here until they let me out. A garbage truck caught me. I was hanging off a building and I didn't make it up."

Kate knew she didn't make it up, but she didn't remember that. She remembered being pulled to safety, quitting her job . . . her tears became real. The lump in her throat worked its way into existence. She couldn't cry. She needed to be the strong Beckett he was familiar with.

"Is anything broken?" he said as he looked over the parts of her that he could see.

"Magically, no. Just major bruising. And more fame than I need."

"Fame?"

"Turns out that the inspiration to Nikki Heat, your muse, has a following when she's injured."

He didn't know what to do. His instinct to make everything better, to fix this, was kicking in. He wanted to take her home. Lock the door and guard her for the rest of her life. Keep her away from these people who were hurting her. If he could just –

_Do what?_

He didn't know.

"I'm sorry – "

"Castle, stop."

It was too much. Her tears began to streak her face.

He moved past the cords, past the tension. He came up next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Kate,"

"No, Castle. This is too much," she begged, as she brought her knees to her chin.

"I can get you out of here. I can make this better."

"No, you can't. This can't be better. I'm not suppose to be here. I need you, I'm supposed to be with –"

Kate froze. This wasn't _her _Castle. Not yet.

"You need me?"

" – forget it."

"Kate – "

A hand cradled her face; the other fingered the bandage on her head.

"Just – just hold me, okay? Nothing more."

She leaned into his arms as he leaned back on the hospital bed. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was angry at her. He needed to listen to himself and break free from the one thing that kept bringing him – his family – back into this mess. But, he couldn't. This was Kate. His Kate.

"I'm sorry about –"

" - Castle. Not now. Let's just forget about that for now."

"Okay."

They both silently agreed to push away the fighting, the anger. They'd address it. They knew they had too, but not now. Not when her almost-death was still fresh in the air. The panic that Castle had was turning into fatigue. And all Kate wanted was to fall asleep and pretend that the arms around her were those of _her _Castle.

* * *

"Just spoke to your doctor. You can go home after the weekend. They want to watch you a little more. They still can't believe how well you turned out."

"That's great." Kate said, smiling.

"And I'll call my team, make sure that you will stay out of the public eye. But if you want to make a one time statement, interview –"

Kate's eyes widened. She didn't want an interview. She didn't want to release a statement. She wanted the world to forget.  
" – or not. We can just let them know that you are okay and recovering."

Kate's hand brushed her hair back. The bun on the base of her neck was loosening. And she was in desperate need of a shower and a change of clothes. She had been able to move around more. Get to the bathroom. Take a walk around the hospital floor she was on. They moved her out of intensive care a couple of days ago. She was going to share a room, but at the last-minute she received news that she had been reassigned to a sweet. Probably not as random as they were trying to make it seem.

Castle moved her flowers into this room and kept her company because she still couldn't read or watch the television. A calm wave came over them to hide the fight that was covered up for the time being. But Kate still wanted him. And she wasn't going to wait too long. It was too strong of a need that was being subdued. Being pushed back because of complications. She might not remember falling into a garbage truck, but she remembered the hanging off a building all too well. And just like her dream, she wasn't going to wait.

* * *

_Sorry about the lack of updates - on every story. Turns out midterms are a bitch that never goes away. And it doesn't help that this chapter would not write itself. I knew what I wanted before I went on a study marathon for two weeks. So reviews will be greatly appreciated - good and bad. _

_ - Meg  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Two Weeks Later

* * *

Kate had to decipher a plan. One that would let her close to Castle without pushing him away. As much as she didn't want it to seem like a war strategy, that was exactly what it was turning out to be. She was getting too close. Her emotions were getting in the way of her one goal. Her one goal that was emotion fueled. Tomorrow would be her first day back at work and after an awkward encounter with him she decided that they needed a break. It had been a week since she had sent him a text. A week since he had stopped over. A week since she had seen the only person she wanted to be around. They were on a long break. For a week.

Her plan consisted of not touching, not looking, not _being_ around Castle. Which was going to be a little tough because they were partners. Her first day back at work and she had been away from _her_ Castle for four weeks. A month. A month without the one person she truly cared about. A month of waking up alone in the bed that she once shared with someone she could never have. She _could_ have him back. She could go over to his loft and just have a repeat of the strength and the bravery she had conjured up before.

But she couldn't. And she didn't know why. She knew, from the future that she had experienced, that he cared about her. She knows exactly what she feels. And what he feels. And they felt it together. But now that erased. And in a way it was a blessing. A selfish gift because she gets to relive their first time giving into those emotions again. She gets to explore him for the first time again.

* * *

Kate woke up and discovered her routine was filed somewhere in her brain because she was able to do exactly what she use to do in her old apartment.

_No. In her apartment. In her home. Because this was the same home. It was the same apartment. She had been dreaming. And she need to get over the reality that it produced. _

When she pulled up to the precinct and slipped back into her Beckett routine she felt at ease. This wasn't going to be hard. A murderer would be caught within the week – hopefully. It was her job. She walked up the cement stairs, heard her heels click like that had done before. She opened the door that she before had opened. She pressed the elevator button twice – twice because it was old and didn't work. She rode it up to her floor. Saw her desk. Like it had always been. There had never been two desks in two realities. Just this one. Just this one world.

_Her dream was fake. _

It was an hour before she had to officially be at work, officially be Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. She needed this hour. She turned on her laptop, opened the drawer to her usual snacks that she kept until Castle would –

Castle.

_Shit._

He would be here in an hour. And she had known that. But she had one hour to get herself together. Subdue that longing in her chest that she felt compelled to answer.

_How would that ever go away?_

She tried the day he came over to her apartment. She had woken up earlier to his text asking if he could stop by. She had said yes. Of course she had said yes. She wanted – needed – to see him. Every second of the day she spent thinking about how she would do anything to be in her dream again. To be lying next to him in bed or watching him make them dinner. Listening to him talk about his daughter.

Castle wanted to check on her and how she was handling her life post – accident. He had made her a cup of coffee, standing in the morning light of her kitchen above her sink. Something the old – _same_ – Castle did all the time.

She blamed it on being early in the morning. She was tired. She had a concussion. She blurred the lines between reality and her dream.

Kate walked into the kitchen from couch to grab a glass of water, to interact. Walking behind him, she let her hand brush against his hip, something she would do often in her dream. Let him know that she was there in a more flirtatious way than speaking. But then it clicked. He didn't know that part. He was pre-accident Castle. His eyes jerked up and he dropped the cup into the sink.

"Sorry," she apologized. Kate quickly acted dizzy. Acted like she had stood up to fast with her concussion and pushed everything else away. Tried to make the awkwardness turn to concern from him. Anything but this conversation that she was trying to avoid.

But she couldn't just slip back into this old life.

_Did she need to gradually make it her reality?_ _Or did she need to just dive into it and break the ice._ _Face the facts. Like that fateful night that never existed_.

Kate sat at her desk, remembering the embarrassing moment that she never wanted to forget. Her cheeks turned red thinking about it, but she loved the way it was so common. Her arm around his waist. Feeling the warmth beneath his shirt.

One month.

It was already one month.

* * *

When Castle had finally arrived he came with her normal breakfast. Ready to work. She watched as he nodded hello to others on the floor. Passed the gate that blocked the hallway from the offices.

"Hello Detective. I brought you the usual."

Castle swayed into his chair, the chair that never moved. Her eyes strained, focused on the screen in front of her.

"Thanks. Nothing's been called in yet. Just doing paperwork."

Her eyes never left the screen as she reached over and grabbed her coffee; made it look like she immersed herself into her work. And not him.

* * *

The day dragged on. Old feelings surfaced, new ones developed. She had never worked with him after they had been together. And in reality, that was still true. They were not together.

But the day ended. And they made their way back to the precinct to gather their stuff. Go home for the day. The time where Castle would say goodbye to her. But now, it wasn't like the way it was when they would say goodbye at his loft. How it would take hours to finally get her to leave. Now it would be simple. An _until tomorrow. _

Tomorrow.

Kate had to suffer through this tomorrow.

"So, are we done for the day?" Castle asked, focused on his phone.

"Yeah, I think we are. I'm not doing any more paperwork tonight. We have to wait for the lab results before we go any further. I think we made a dent. Going to his house and finding the number on his computer. I think this one will be done by the end of the week."

They got their coats, their phones. The leftovers from lunch.

"Walk you out?"

Kate stopped. Peered at him from her desk.

_Don't make this awkward._

"Yeah, I'd like that."

_Damn._

"Ok-ay."

They walked down the same hallway they had done before on their way to the elevator. But suddenly Kate didn't know how to make conversation. It was easier to bite the bullet, so to speak. To go to his loft and throw themselves into a relationship. Have the talk after they figured out that it was definitely a good idea to do this a lot more. But now, the talk was beating them on the head. But she wasn't sure that Castle was aware.

"Hey, Castle. It's nice out. I don't have my car with me. Do you – do you want to walk me home?"

_Well this could go one of two ways. _

"Sure. I can do that."


	5. Chapter 5

_Did that just happen?_

Did she really let herself do that. Destroy everything she had ever wanted. Everything she experienced when she went to sleep.

Kate sat down on her bed; the unruffled bed that should have them in it, not allowing her to calmly sit at its base. Her head ached. She brushed her hand against the cut that was healing. The stitches were out; there would be a scar. During the day she kept a bandage on it, though. But now it was open.

She pushed her bra strap back on her shoulder where a bruise had been interrupted in its healing process. Being pushed against a door – _twice._

_But technically, only once – _

Kate pushed that away. Too confusing. Her emotions were in a knot. She didn't know what was real and what wasn't. All her emotions were real – she knew that much. But she kept forgetting where she was. And that's why she sent him home.

_She sent him home. _

Sent him away from the one night that she wanted back. The one thing that she had the privilege to experience once more.

She got up off her bed, heard her knee crack with her. Five minutes ago she could have run around the world without her injuries even making the slightest appearance. Now they screamed with every move she made.

She picked up the book they knocked on the floor in her bedroom, kicked her one shoe from her path.

Kate made her way to her couch, the couch where they had been _ten minutes ago. _

Just ten minutes ago she was holding the man that she dreamed of having once more; the man that she craved.

And she sent him home.

He had been confused. Asked her why. Apologized for doing exactly what she had been silently begging for. Spent two weeks wishing she would transport herself back into the world that she thought was reality.

She stared at her phone. He would call her. She wouldn't answer. They had been through that much before. She would listen to his drawn out message about how he was sorry. He shouldn't have let himself do that. It was his fault –

_But it wasn't. _

She was the one that asked him to come up to her floor. To walk her home. To have coffee. She knew her intentions. It was later in the evening after a long day at work. Her first day back. The last thing she wanted to do was to sit down and have coffee. And he knew her intentions as well. How could he not.

And that conversation that loomed over their heads, begging to be addressed. Someone was still after her –

_The detail on her probably was curious about everything that just occurred. _

It didn't matter.

_Why_ did she send him home?

It had been seven minutes now. Seven minutes since she ordered him out the door. He probably caught a taxi. Probably was on his way back to his life. His life that he probably regretted involving it with hers. Again.

_Or maybe . . ._

It had only been seven minutes. Kate stood up; didn't feel her pain anymore. She rushed over to the window, knocking over yet another thing from the coffee table. This time it was only her fault.

She moved back the curtain to see below. To see the street – the _empty_ street. It was damp, it having eerily just rained. The puddles curled along the corners, undisturbed. Noting pulled up to the corner to relieve their stillness.

Her heart sank. This was entirely her fault. Her doing. The one thing that she had hoped would happen. The thing that she could bring between worlds – she just let him walk through her front door. Not angry. No. But, he wasn't going to forget it. He was walking home _not _forgetting about it.

Kate needed to leave. She needed to get out. Away from the evidence that was around her. The items on the ground, the untouched bed in the distance. Her apartment was too still.

Kate walked back into her room, picked up the shoe she kicked off. Then went to find its match. Her keys were in the bowl by the door. She grabbed them, her wallet, and left.

Once she pulled the door shut, twisted the handle to make sure it locked, Kate made her way to the elevator. She turned, eyes glued to the floor. Unlike the precinct, she only had to press the button once.

Kate heard the ring of the bell letting her know the doors would open. She backed up enough to let someone else out of they were in there. It was still only eight at night. The world wasn't deserted just because she felt like it was.

But the doors opened. They peeled back and stole the breath from inside her.

"Castle?"

His eyes wide, staring at her. He tried to speak, but was lost too. His hands grasping to the handles around the perimeter of the elevator, glued to the back wall.

Kate stepped forward enough to leave him inside the elevator, but closer to him.

"Kate – I know – I know you told me to go home, but before you get mad – I was going home. I was. I swear, I just. I couldn't – "

Her eyes matched his. She couldn't break from his gaze even if she tried.

"Kate – I can't leave you again. It killed me last time. I tried – I thought I could just erase you from my life to protect myself, my family. But, here's the thing. You're my family – I mean – you – Kate – Okay. Where you go, I go. If you're in danger, I'm in danger. It's my decision. And, well – yours too. If you ask, I'm gone - "

She was on the same page with him – until then. The thought of losing him - actually asking him to leave her forever. She felt the increased weight in her chest and her eyes showed it.

"Castle, no. I –"

The door to the elevator hit her as it tried to close. Brought her humility. She looked at the door, pushed her hand out to stop it, to signal it to go back. They weren't done. But it let her gather the courage she once found in her dream - and ten minutes ago. Kate walked towards him. Pushed the hold button on the elevator and let the door shut. There was nowhere for them to hide.

"The thought of me asking you to leave – Castle, it kills me. I thought I'd lost you once. . . when you left that night. When you said you we're done. See, Rick – I can't – " Kate took a breath. She needed to let him know how much she missed him – "I'll never – ever – ask you to stop loving me."

His eyes widened.

_Does that mean that she feels the same way?_

She slipped her hand around his face. Cradled it. Let this be less forced, less _chaotic,_ than ten minutes ago. She looked into his eyes; let him know that she was in this. She needed this.

And she kissed him.

She let her worlds blend into one. Let _her_ Richard Castle become the only thing that connected the two.

* * *

_The end._

* * *

_This wrapped up quickly. I planned for it. I have two more stories coming up - one new one and Shocks - Surprises sequel. But I did like the idea of this story. Let me know if you guys liked it. (enough for a part two one shot type thing)._

_Tumblr - .com - I post all the updates, sequel info, and if updates will be delayed. __  
_


End file.
